A poorly written dark comedy that’s neither funny enough nor frightening enough to justify its existence. Sad, because I love all the actors involved.

This film overwhelms you with its lavish visuals—everything from overt displays of pubic hair, firm asses, and gore. It’s sex personified, a neon dream painted across a canvas of ecstasy… until it isn’t.

This is a hard movie to sum up without spoiling it. The film has almost no exposition. Dialogue is raw and real. Everything about this movie feels organic. The writing is emotional, and the characters flawed. However, they’re all fleshed out to provide a deeper understanding of their motivations.

This is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen.

Lily-Rose Depp gives a powerhouse performance, and the fact that she was not nominated for the Best Actress Oscar shows just how meaningless and broken the Oscars have become.

If the film had stuck to the rules set up in the first few minutes, the ticking clock conundrum, it would have been a fun popcorn movie. But the fact that it breaks its own rules again and again is what seals it as an unwatchable mess.

This is a movie that doesn’t take itself seriously. It’s funny, heartfelt, and the cast does a great job with what they’re given.

The script is sharp, insightful, and the acting is out of this world. The ensemble assembled here is dynamite. You've got film legends like Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton rubbing elbows with Modern character actor gold like Arden Myrin and voice acting legend TC Carson.

I can’t recommend this film enough.

The movie has an atmospheric creep factor that works for the first two-thirds of the film. The problem is that the movie is extremely stereotypical, so by the first two acts, you know exactly what's going to happen in the third.

Cuckoo is Rosemary’s Baby meets Suspiria.

This movie is like Larry Cohen and John Carpenter made sweet, wrinkly love on SyFy channel.

This is a mystery-box movie that asks a ton of questions, but doesn’t answer most, if any.

It’s the same plot as the first movie, but without any of the emotional weight, character growth, or goddamn common sense.

Much like Darren Aronofsky’s 2017 steaming dump of a film, Mother, Garland has created a film so obtuse and pretentious that it somehow defies disappointment.

I thoroughly enjoyed the first act of the movie and much of the second, but, sweet Jesus, it unravels after that.

This is Rear Window meets Tenebrae.

Picture 2002’s Minority Report mixed with 1993’s Dazed and Confused.

The script for this movie may as well have been written on a cocktail napkin.

And while yes, nothing significant happens for a good amount of runtime and the slow burn gets just to the edge of burnout. it pays off in the end.