Deathstalker (2025) - Movie Review
If “Hell Yeah” were an image.
What if I told you Shout! Studios were resurrecting an obscure sword and sorcery film from the golden age of video rental stores?
What if I told you it’s actually better than the films it’s based on?
Let’s discuss.
Deathstalker is a sword and sorcery fantasy film brought to us by the visionary writer / director Steven Kostanski. That’s right, the man who brought us classics like The Void and Psycho Goreman is back with another absurd gorefest filled with practical effects, creative monster designs, and a heart of gold.
The film focuses on the eponymous Deathstalker, a wandering mercenary in a post-apocalyptic fantasy wasteland. We join him as he captures an ancient amulet of unbelievable value. What he thinks is his retirement plan soon becomes a massive headache when he’s accosted by demons, monsters, wizards, and warlocks. The amulet is the key to releasing an ancient devil and the cult that worships him will stop at nothing to get their hands on it. Along with his trusty goblin mage sidekick and a young thief, Deathstalker journeys across the land cutting down the dark lord’s minions. Will he and his somewhat loyal party be able to deliver the amulet to the royal family in order to destroy it once and for all, or will the dark lord’s rise and drag all life on the planet into the abyss? Find out in tonight’s feature: Deathstalker.
That was a terrible summary.
But if you’ve seen a fantasy film, you know the set-up.
The trailers for this film tried to play on nostalgia for the old films, and the tongue in cheek nature of this reboot. Both strategies fell flat, as Deathstalker is a deep cut, even for the horror community. I remember the films being disappointing, especially compared to the covers of the VHS slipcover.
I mean, look at these!
Now, as I got oldeR, I appreciated these films more—and the breasticles on display therein. They were fun, low-budget productions populated with Penthouse Pets and Playboy Playmates.
This new film doesn’t have the luxury of relying on Barbi Benton’s buxom busom to move copies. So, it had to have a little more substance.
Kostanski is a cinematic alchemist who turns low-budgets into hidden gems.
Kostanski’s script is tight, with small spotlight moments throughout. Things happen that you cannot anticipate, and that are so absurd you can’t help but laugh. It’s dark setting, but the humor is ever present. That doesn’t mean the film has no stakes, but it’s not a movie you’ll be shedding any tears over.
Every character introduced gets a small spotlight moment of some kind, and every single one takes advantage. It’s so rare nowadays to see a movie allow the lesser stars to shine, but this movie gives every single performer a chance to show what they’re made of.
It helps that the script is clever and utilizes the tried and true method of giving the audience small nods to what’s coming a few minutes down the runtime. It’s a trail of breadcrumbs that gives the audience little dopamine hits for paying attention to the movie.
This is a film meant to entertain and it does its job well.
John Wick and Nobody Alum / Fight Coordinator extrodinaire, Daniel Bernhardt, does an incredible job carrying the film. He’s not an actor who is going to be winning any BAFTAs, but he gives the perfect 90’s action hero performance and he has the look. If only he’d had anyone else to play his sidekick’s voice.
Patton Oswalt turns in a performance reminiscent of Peter Dinklage in Destiny.
Yeah, that’s not a good thing and neither is Patton’s performance in this film. For someone as prolific in the history of voice acting, Patton’s performance is grating. He maintains an almost monotone delivery throughout the film that sounds more like an AI voice clone on a mobile game ad than anything in Ratatouille or The Ghost off Molly McGee.
If the rest of the film were worse, maybe it wouldn’t have been as noticeable. As it is, Patton’s failure here sticks out like a sore thumb, because all the other performers give their all and have a blast while doing so. I used to be a diehard fan of Patton’s stand-up, and a fan of him in general, but his devolution as a comic after obtaining obscene wealth has never been more apparent. He provides no humor, heart, or even basic inflection in his role here. This was a paycheck, nothing more and nothing less.
Luckily, It’s got a roaring rock guitar soundtrack by the great Blitz//Berlin and some of the funniest and original monster designs in cinema history.
You need to give this one a watch.
Grab a group of friends, smoke a bowl, and have a great time watching this salute to the VHS era.
I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.
