Osiris (2025) - Movie Review
Please ignore Linda Hamilton, she won’t be here long.
What if I told you that a direct to streaming sci-fi film with a paper-thin plot, a washed up actress who stopped by to cash a check, and the executive producer of CLERKS III wasn’t all bad?
What if I told you that it’s surprisingly okay.
Let’s discuss.
OSIRIS is a 2025 sci-fi / action film brought to us by writer / director William Kaufman and writer Paul Reichelt. Kaufman has been steadily pumping out streaming films, but unlike most straight to streaming slop directors, he’s actually got some well-reviewed films in his past.
This is not one of them.
The film focuses on Kelly, a US special forces officer leading his team through a raid of a terrorist stronghold. When the raid goes south, Kelly and team prepare to make a last stand. But when a strange light descends over the battlefield all combatants lose consciousness. When the soldiers wake up, they find they’ve been relocated to an alien location. Nothing about the new complex they’re in makes sense. The structure is all metal, dilapidated, and yet technologically advanced. The soldiers start experiencing tremors, and realize they all have new skills. Skills they shouldn’t have. One man has the ability to understand and operate all alien weaponry, while another has the ability to read and understand the foreign language of the ship. These skills help them make it far enough to meet the crew, a hungry bunch of hideous aliens intent on having Kelly and team for lunch. Will these tough as nails soldiers fight their way to freedom, or will they end up being the blue plate special? Find out in tonight’s feature, OSIRIS.
This film is essentiallyNightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriorsin space.
Just remove all the elements that made Dream Warriors great. The deep character building, charismatic villain, and overarching suspense. I’m not saying it’s a train wreck. In fact, the film is better than I expected in every way.
The production values are way higher than I expected from the trailer. The being said, there isn’t much variance in backgrounds or design element. The majority of the film’s art design looks like someone copied Alien 3’s homework. The ship is all jagged edges, painted like corroded iron. The use of different filters is well done to make it look like there’s more than just a mono colored environments. There are some cool bits and pieces, like the doors between levels—which in all honesty look like they were taken from the old Event Horizon set. Which makes it even cooler.
The creature effects are the real star.
As mentioned, the lighting design was extremely well done. The Special effects are no different. While the digital effects are somewhat trash—they are mixed in with enough practical applications to not stick out like a sore thumb. The monster design is cool, and appears to have been heavily inspired by Resident Evil 3’s Nemesis BOW and Gears of War’s Locusts. In fact, the introduction to the big bad leader of the vicious aliens is almost a shot for shot sequence from Gears of War 2.
What the hell happened to Linda Hamilton?
She was a massive star in the 80’s and 90’s, married and divorced one of the richest directors in film history, and then just vanished. She returned for the regrettable Terminator: Dark Fate. A turd so smelly, even the modern audience it was made for avoided it like the plague. Her performance in this film is equally wooden, except she’s added a terrible Russian accent. It’s a shame too, because the other actors really try to elevate what little they’re given.
Max Martini especially brings his A-game. The prolific actor is pigeonholed as a military commander with a troubled conscious after his star making role of the underrated military TV drama, The Unit. But, he makes the most of it. His calm, gravelly demeanor brings a credibility to the film. His sincere line delivery, and non-verbal communication really elevates the film. He’s just a guy that steps onto the screen and demands respect.
This is a Saturday Afternoon B-Movie.
As long as you go into this movie without expectations, I think you might be presently surprised. It’s a short film with a little bit of heart and some above average special effects. Just don’t expect something on the level of Pandorum or Even Horizon.
If you need something on for background noise, or are just bored as hell, give it a watch.
As of this writing, the film is streaming on HULU.
